One Shot//Broken

*FYI: parts of this are based off of a true life experience of another friend of mine. it's a little bit dark, but i felt that it was an excellent topic to approach. ps i did get her permission to write this...that would just be wrong not to.* ~kelly

"Ooh, finally I get a letter from you!" Shea exclaimed, speaking to the envelope in her hand. It was from her best friend, who was still back home; she hadn't heard from Tori in almost four months, even though she had left numerous voicemails on her phone. Shea sat down on a chaise on her patio, and ripped open the letter. What she found what something different than she had expected...

To my dearest Shea,
I'd just like to say I'm sorry...i haven't been a very good friend lately, and you deserve better. As you know I've been dealing with some difficulties in my illness, and I'm not sure how to tell you that I'm ready to give up. I'm sorry that I was too afraid to call you, but I felt that I could express myself better through writing. I haven't done anything drastic yet, but I'm certainly on my last rope. Please don't worry about coming to see me, I just wanted to let you know how much I love and cherish your friendship...although this may be one of the last times you hear from me. I love you.
Besos,
Tori

Shea began to shake...what did this mean? Was this a suicide note? Why was this happening? Tears began to roll down her porcelain cheeks as she frantically ran inside to grab for the phone. She dialed over and over, but no response. At last, she settled on a voicemail. "TORI! Oh jesus...TORI! Please baby, don't do anything stupid. I know you're sick, and I know that this has been hard for you...but please! I love you and you can't leave me..." she rambled. Finally after hanging up, she collapsed to the floor, covering her face with her hands, and sobbing uncontrollably.

I wanted you to know,
That I love the way you laugh;
I wanna hold you high and steal your pain away...
I keep your photograph,
And I know it serves me well;
I wanna hold you high and steal your pain...

"What...I don't even know how..." Shea gasped to herself. Suddenly she knew...her other best friend. She had to see him. She stumbled over to where her house keys were and she grabbed them, heading for her front door. As she locked it, she hiccupped and slowly walked across the street to the only other place she felt she could go...

'cause I'm broken when I'm lonesome,
And I don't feel right when you're gone away...

Shea slowly climbed the steps to his front door, and wiped her tears with the sleeve of her sweater as she knocked. She was able to stop crying for a moment, until she heard his voice, "Yeah mom, I got it!" Suddenly fresh tears built up in her eyes, threatening to spill onto her cheeks like a broken dam. The door lock clicked and suddenly she was face to face with the only other person she could talk to. "Shea? Oh my God! What's wrong?" he said, his eyes wide with fear. Shea shook her head, "Umm...can I...can I talk to you about something?" His big brown eyes searched her face, "Of course! You know you can tell me anything. You're okay though, right?" He said, his voice wavering with concern. Shea nodded, and stepped forward into his open arms. As she rested her head on his shoulder, those tears that had been forming spilled down her cheeks. He took her hand and led her upstairs, where she sat on his bed. As he held her hands in his, she explained about the letter...

The worst is over now,
And we can breathe again;
I wanna hold you high, you steal my pain away...
There's so much left to learn,
And no one left to fight;
I wanna hold you high and steal your pain...

"I'm just so afraid she's going to kill herself...and I don't know what to do!" Shea squeaked through her tears. He sighed, studying her sullen face. "Shea, I'm so sorry...that's awful. Unfortunately, there's not much you can do right now...I mean, you could fly out there and try to stop her, but I would hate to see you put yourself through that much pain and suffering over her whims." Shea's eyes found his, and she replied, "What do you mean whims?" He shook his head; brown curls flopping back and forth. "I just mean, she does this to you every time she wants attention. Now this time, it's very different...but if she actually goes through with it, I don't want you to have to be there to see it. You would be completely traumatized. If she's that set on ending her life, there's not much you can do. Her mom is going to have to be the one that gets her help." Shea sighed through her tears, and nodded, "You're right, I honestly don't think I could handle that..."

cause I'm broken when I'm open,
And I don't feel like I am strong enough;
cause I'm broken when I'm lonesome,
And I don't feel right when you're gone away...

He held Shea close to him, and she could smell his cologne drifting off of his skin. She relaxed slightly as she clung to him like a scared child, and listened to the soothing sound of his voice. "Everything is going to be okay...I promise Shea. I know right now it seems like an impossible task to get over this, but you have to stay strong for whatever DOES happen." She nodded, fresh tears sprinkling her cheeks. She slowly looked up at him, "Will you pray with me?" His eyes met hers, "Of course I will...that should definitely help you settle down a little." Shea nodded, and then reached for his hands. She closed her eyes as she felt his forehead rest against hers, and she sighed as she began, "Dear God..." He squeezed Shea's hands tightly, and as she finished her prayer, he pulled her into a tight hug. "Thank God for you..." Shea said quietly, unable to find her voice completely. He clutched her tightly, "I"m just glad you came to me...that means a lot. I hope I helped at least a little bit." As he pulled away from her, he gently wiped the stray tears from her swollen cheeks. "No more tears...okay? You can get through this." he said, searching her big blue eyes. Shea nodded and repeated, "I can get through this..."

cause I'm broken when I'm lonesome,
And I don't feel right when you're gone...away...
You're gone away;
You don't feel me here; anymore...